April 30th - Zorro's Black Whip: Tomb of Terror

April 30th - Zorro's Black Whip: Tomb of Terror

 

For my final day, probably like a lot of other bloggers doing the April Challenge, I had trouble finding something that actually started with Z. This is the one letter that I can't find any of in my collection, so I had to go out onto amazon to find a movie I could watch for free. I thought about watching Zoolander, but that would have cost me more than I probably would have gotten out of it, so instead I tried to pick a Zorro movie that didn't cost me anything. In doing so, I found this old "movie" which was the only Zorro movie available for free that actually started with a Z. This film serial is from way back in 1944 and is only 24 minutes long. I wasn't able to get a hold of the rest of the series, but it's only the second one so it won't spoil anything to talk about it.

 

For an old black and white film, I'm strangely enamored by the characters. I don't like that Zorro (or the Black Whip) is a white, but that doesn't really matter when he's able to beat the bad guys. Like any good Western, the fighting is not quite realistic enough that someone only gets 6 shots before they reload, but the hand to hand combat has the feel of actual brawling (even if they're not actually hitting each other). Some of the scenes with horses are obviously sped up to make it look like they're going faster, and I really think it helps make the fight scenes exciting.

 

SO, for a short film, there's actually a lot of work and money put into this film. While there's nothing remotely like a "Tomb of Terror" in this, the story it does portray seems fairly realistic for the time. So I know I've probably broke my own rules for doing this short for Z, but I genuinely liked it. Like Yokai Monsters, this movie actually had a coherent story with no gravity guns making loop holes in the plot. All in all, I'd give it a 3 out of 5.

All pictures from Google Images

April 29th - Y is for Yokai Monsters - Spook Warfare

April 29th - Y is for Yokai Monsters - Spook Warfare

 

 

You wouldn’t expect a Japanese story to start out in the ruins of Babylonia now would you? Well, this movie does, and you’d better watch out because there are ancient demons afoot in the ruins! This is your typical Japanese monster movie except instead of being in a future with lasers and Mechas, we’re in a past filled with magical Yokai and samurai lords. I can’t judge this by the normal criteria I would wit ha modern film since this is a film from 1968 when things weren’t as advanced.

 

The one thing I think this movie has over newer movies though is probably in the story department. Because they didn’t have as much to spend on special effects, this movie had to have a solid story to keep the people hooked into the story. The story itself is a wonderful mix of suspense and comedy that even each other out so that it feels very even and I didn’t have trouble staying interested till the end. The story is definitely one of the most coherent ones that I’ve reviewed this month, and it definitely makes up for the sometimes atrocious costumes. The special effects are okay, but some of the Yokai just look like the plain rubber suits they are.

 

SO, overall, you get a story with characters that are definitely worth your time with the down side that some of them look bad. I guess that in the past movies focused on giving you a story with some sort of moral, and today we go to see a movie to see big pretty explosions and “epic” CGI locations. While I’m not sure if all of the Yokai Monsters movies (there’s at least 3 under that title) are like this one, but I would highly recommend this movie if you wanted a really good Japanese monster movie to watch that isn’t too scary and has some context. 5 out of 5 (ignoring the fact that it’s old).

All images off of Google Images

April 27th - X is for X-Men Origins: Wolverine

April 27th - X is for X-Men Origins: Wolverine

 

How opportune for all the X-Men movies to disappear as soon as I need to watch an X movie… I haven’t read the whole X-Men series, but I don’t think most people have these days. This was my second choice for today because I don’t feel like it’s as good as the main movie series. When I say that, I don’t mean that the action or acting is bad or anything, I just don’t feel like the story holds true to the original comics or the movies that came before it.

This movie wasn’t what the creators wanted to make at first. They actually wanted to make a movie about Wolverine’s time in Japan, like in the comic series, but they realized that not everyone knew the character’s back story. So, this is the story of how Wolverine became who he is in the other X-Men movies. That being said, you would think that Wolverine would somehow start out different from when he gets to in the end, but that doesn’t really come across. Sure there is some change in the movie, but he basically ends up at the same place he started out at. I guess I’ll just have to blame it on convenient plot twists.

SO, I’m going to stop myself here before I go into another rant about the characters in this movie (I don’t feel they didn’t do a very good job on Gambit), and say that the action is perfection, the acting is what you expect from award winning actors, and that this movie tries to give you the sense that it really connects to the other stories. I’m sure it’s not because the next Wolverine movie will have nothing to do with the other X-Men movies. All in all, 4 out of 5.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine cover from IMDB
Stars from Google Images

April 26th - W is for Wall-e

April 26th - W is for Wall-e

 

First off, if you haven’t seen this movie yet, go get it. Whether you come out liking it or not, this movie is a true example of how much symbolism a kids movie can have. On the surface, this is a heart warming love story, but beneath that this movie also shows how the world can easily turn south when robots do everything. By showing this sort of thing, this movie can be a truly middle ground, and it all depends on how much you want to see all the issues this movie brings up.

Wall-e starts off with more than a half hour without any of the main characters saying more than two or three words. In this time, the story is conveyed through actions and mechanical motions of a clunky little robot from the past (I like to think of him as a model-T) and a sleek robot off of a spaceship (she’s more like a Tesla). Through these two characters we see the typical children’s love story until the underlying plot kicks in and, like in any other story, blows their relationship out of the way so that the rest of the story can move on. After this point, we start to see all of those issues that I mentioned in the first paragraph start to come into play. They’re blatant enough if you’ve been paying attention at all to the world from the last decade or so, but if you aren’t, or your kids aren’t, then it’s probably not going to be too distracting.

SO, I’ve found that it’s really hard to explain what I liked about this movie. I guess it’s one of the ones that can either be a really “feel good” kind of movie, or the sort that makes you want to go out and participate in something outside yourself. It all depends on what you want to get out of it. So, it has really good animations, a childish story that can also be mature if you read into it, and Mo gets points for just being adorable. 4 out of 5.

Wall-e cover from IMDB
Stars off of Google Images

April 25th - V is for Van Helsing

April 25th - V is for Van Helsing

 

This is one of the other reasons why I didn’t want to watch Underworld yesterday. I don’t like watching too many of these action movies in a row because I usually like my action spaced out so that it’s a treat to watch people throw each other around. So here we have just that, a movie with action and story, just what I need today.

On the front of the DVD case, Van Helsing totes that it has “non-stop action,” which is a quality that most action movies without plots use t justify their movie. The thing is, this movie has a story, and I think it’s one of the best fantasy action stories in a while (in movie form of course). They put some interesting twists on characters that most people already know such as Frankenstein’s monster and Mr. Hyde. This movie isn’t afraid to show just how monstrous some of these classic characters can be, and not just in the physical sense. This film does such a good job at making you care about the story that is threading all these classic characters together.

Though the story strives to combine the legends of several classic horror monsters/villains, it also tries t explain why Van Helsing is tangled up in all of this, and this is where I think the movie lacks a bit. There is some really vague backstory quickly thrust under a rug at the beginning of the film that mysteriously becomes unimportant the minute action related pops up. The thing is, if you’re going to give us no details about a character’s background, DON’T MAKE IT AN IMPORTANT PLOT POINT LATER! I still don’t understand what Dracula was talking about, but you’ll have to watch it to find out.

SO, that being said, this is still a really good movie. I can over look that whole backstory thing (much like the movie does) and still find that the rest of the movie holds together. The action has enough weight to it, the characters aren’t dumb and can think outside the box of way to kill vampires, and the acting felt real enough to make me, at least, care about the characters. This has to be one of my favorite action movies of all time. 5 out of 5.

Van Helsing cover from IMDB
Stars off of Google Images

April 24th - U is for Underdog

April 24th - U is for Underdog

 

I had originally planned to review Underworld for today, but I really wasn’t in the mood for that sort of horror action film today. So, instead I’m watching another kids film. This movie is supposed to be like the cartoon. You don’t have to have watched any of the original series.

The story is really lackluster, but I guess that’s what you get for trying to make a full length film about a character from the older serial cartoons. I have to give them credit for figuring out a good way to show how Underdog got his name and powers, but after that the story loses that spark. The villain is more silly than threatening, no matter what situation our hero is in. This story makes it too easy for Underdog to be better than everyone else. There isn’t anyone who seems up to par with what Underdog can do, and I think that kind of makes his name very juxtaposed from his actions. He’s the sort of “all-powerful” character you’re supposed to stay away from when making interesting characters. This is a children’s movie though, and they do have to try and aim for this sort of “always win character,” but I think they went too far past the mark.

SO, this has been another example of a movie that had a great idea, but didn’t manage to follow through all the way. I think this movie would be better if they cut out about half an hour of the unnecessary scene bits. This movie doesn’t really need to be grittier, but it could use a little more in the department of tension creation. If there had been an actual problem that really challenged Underdog, I think it would have fixed what most of what I didn’t like about this movie. Except for some of the actors’ lack of skill. 2 out of 5.

Underdog cover from IMDB
Stars off of Google Images

April 23rd - T is for Thunderbirds

April 23rd - T is for Thunderbirds

 

I know there was a television series that was called Thunderbirds, but this movie has almost nothing to do with it. This is more of a kids action movie more than anything else. That being said, the kid actors look great, but the adults just come across as some of the weirdest people on Earth. An example is how Lady Penelope, a secret agent, rides in a flamboyantly pink limousine that flies. Yeah, this movie is flamboyant in just about everything it does.

This story does have its rough spots, like the fact that everyone in the world expects the Thunderbirds to save them from every little disaster that ever happens. There’s also the problem that the villain is more ridiculous than everything else in this movie combined. There are a lot of wacky bits in the movie, but I think it gives it a lot of character rather than making it unwatchable. So while some of the characters are goofy, I like them overall. All these characters work well in their environments which are filled with very detailed props. Somebody spent a lot of time planning and building the sets for this movie, and it shows.

SO, this movie’s got action and hilarity set in a world the creators actually cared about. The characters never have any out of character moments, and I really like them. The bad guys are bad enough to make good opponents, though they were enchanted with goofy powder so that kids wouldn’t find them too scary. This movie flows very well, and if you need a cheep movie to watch with the kids, this is one of the first ones I’d recommend. For a kids movie 5out of 5.

All pictures from Google Images

April 22nd - S is for Santo and the Blue Demon verses Dracula and the Wolfman

April 22nd - S is for Santo and the Blue Demon verses Dracula and the Wolfman

 

This film is also known as Santo y Blue Demon Contra Dracula y el Hombre Lobo. This is a classic Mexican Wrestler movie, so obviously it has to be on this list as one of my favorite movies to that is supposed to be serious but, is actually incredibly hilarious. I watch this movie in Spanish with English subtitles because I know enough of the language to get me through this movie (Oh, and the title on the box is still in Spanish). I’m saying all of this now, so that at the end of the review you’ll know why I still recommend this movie to people even though all the rest of this review might not sound very good.

The first scene in this movie makes it clear that this is a wrestler movie. The one key to figuring out which man is our hero comes in the form of silver pants. Then, right in the middle of the action we are treated to two bat statue flamethrowers and a rant about Satan somehow bringing Dracula and the Wolfman back to life. Now, this is the plot, and don’t worry, it becomes much more involved and exponentially hard to follow. The thing is, if you’re paying attention (or consistently pausing to read the subtitles like me), you will understand why almost everything is going on. I would place this movie much higher than G.I. Joe in the story element development list, because this movie gives pretty clear reasons for these masked wrestlers to be fighting horror classics. This story doesn’t have any miraculous gravity guns (see my April 8^th review for more detail) and is dedicated to following its plot points as hard as it can. While most films could be downgraded for the sort of rigidity this movie has, it works for such a small film, and I personally like it.

Now, there are something’s about the characters that you should know before plunging into this movie. Santo and the Blue Demon always wear their masks. Santo also has a girlfriend/wife and has a female cousin with a young daughter. Character relationships are the biggest downfall of this movie. They’re acted out very well, and for the genre they do make sense most of the time, but this movie must be part of some series because they don’t introduce any of the characters except for our two lead protagonists with anything like a name for half the movie! But like I said, the acting is really good, it’s just that the writer didn’t think anyone would ever just watch this ONE movie without any foreknowledge of the characters. By the end of the movie you will know almost all the characters, though, so I don’t want to just point out how bad that part of the writing is.

SO, from all this text, what I’m trying to say is that this movie has its obvious flaws: the action doesn’t feel real enough, the story can be hard to follow (past the whole punching dudes aspect), and the special effects being really low budget, but it has some good points too. The story gives the characters reasons to be fighting these foes and also giving the characters more emotions than what you would think could be in a wrestling movie. This movie sticks to it’s story and tries to be serious, but that seriousness is also quite ridiculous at times. I dare you to watch this and try not to laugh when a wrestling scene suddenly changes to a bat-faced flamethrower. That sort of ridiculous is what makes this movie livable. 3 out of 5.

Santo and the Blue Demon verses Dracula and the Wolfman cover from IMDB

Stars off of Google Images

April 20th - R is for Robin Hood Men in Tights

April 20th - R is for Robin Hood Men in Tights

 

This is a movie everyone should see. Period. I think it’s one of Mel Brooks best films and definitely one of my favorite comedies. That doesn’t mean that this film doesn’t have problems. It just means that they’re played up as part of the comedy.

I think that the biggest fault in this movie is the real lack of a story that isn’t just skin deep. I understand that it’s not meant to have one, and I couldn’t imagine that this story would be half as good with one, but it is something that most people today demand from their movies. The lack of story can be overlooked here though because of the humor that fills every square inch of this movie. I don’t think there’s a line in this movie that isn’t meant to reference or poke fun at something in the real world or the story of Robin Hood.

Character wise there is a wide variety of mostly hilarious stereotypes. Each is played fairly equally, meaning that no one in this film gets away from being made fun of. There are a lot of the same old jokes you might find in Mel Brooks other films like Blazing Saddles or Spaceballs, but each joke or reference segways into the next, though it can be a little clunky at times.

SO, in conclusion, one of my favorite comedy films because no one party leaves the movie feeling like they are forever better than someone else’s stereotype. This is and isn’t a musical, but the songs are catchy and I always find myself humming them when I’m bored. The acting is spot on in my opinion and the costuming and props, like the movie in total, are hard to find too much at fault unless you’re an expert. Seeing that I’m not one of those experts, I’ll call his a movie everyone should see. 5 out of 5.

Robin Hood Men in Tights cover from IMDB (Sorry that it's not in English. I'll try to find another one)
Stars from Google Images

April 19th - Q is for Quantum of Solace

April 19th - Q is for Quantum of Solace

 

I was looking for a Q movie, and I remembered that the second Daniel Craig James Bond movie started with a Q. I’m not planning on using Skyfall as my S, but I do intend to watch it. Maybe after I done with the April Challenge I’ll do that one. The down side to doing two movies from the same franchise is that I expect this review to come out much like the one for Casino Royale.

 

This movie seems to start up right where Casino Royale left off. In fact, it starts off in a very similar way to how the first one did. They hit off the action as soon as the opening credits finish. The action sequences are very satisfying and Bond is definitely not invincible in this movie. He’s much more experienced for what must have only have been a couple of weeks, at most, from the end of the last one. I do find it nice that they didn’t have Bond sleep with every female character in this. It shows that Casino Royale did have some impact on Bond’s life after that movie.

 

SO, in conclusion, not very great music, still realistic enough fight scenes, and still the same amount of story told in the last parts of the movie. This movie is as good as the last one, but I don’t think I can call it better. I still love how the action scenes are done, but god the things they do to nice cars! 4 out of 5.

Quantum of Solace cover from IMDB
Stars form Google Images

 

April 18th - P is for A Prairie Home Companion

April 18th - P is for A Prairie Home Companion

 

Today I watched another one of my favorite movies. A Prairie Home Companion is a live radio show broadcast on NPR (National Public Radio) which features music and stories. It’s something that I’ve been brought up on, so I can catch some of the references in this film. There are some, and while I don’t think it’s impossible to understand the story, it does help to know a little about the radio program.

 

The story itself involves most of the characters from the radio show from Guy Noir, a completely fictional character, to Garrison Keillor, the actual host of the show. Unfortunately this story doesn’t really go anywhere very fast. There’s a lot of long monologue type conversations where characters talk about some ambiguous past and reminisce about how the show used to be before they decided to close it down. This whole story revolves around the fictional “last show” of A Prairie Home Companion. Throughout the whole movie, the show goes on and the band keeps playing on stage as if they were actually doing a show. I really like it, but if I wanted to hear all the music and stories, I’d just go and listen to the radio show.

 

SO, to bring this to an early conclusion, you really just have to know the context before you see the movie. You’d understand the moral of the story and probably still find it inspiring, but you need some knowledge of the radio show before you go. The characters are played by some incredibly believable actors who can also sing beautifully too. They also get props for trying to throw in a little twist with that lady with the white trench coat, but you’d have to see it to understand. 3 out of 5.

A Prairie Home Companion cover from IMDB

Stars off of Google Images

April 17th - O is for Orochi the Eight-Headed Dragon

April 17th - O is for Orochi the Eight-Headed Dragon

 

It was a choice between this and Omega Man, and today I don’t really feel like watching something so suspenseful, so here we have a movie from Japan! This is a typical Japanese monster movie in action and in filming styles. There are many small scale models used when special effects like flames are being used on the cityscape. While this story takes place in feudal Japan, it still follows the basic monster movie plots though. You don’t actually get to see the monster until most of the way into the movie. There are some other monsters in this movie other than the one the movie’s named after, but you’d think you’d name the movie after the monster if it was more prevalent.

 

Character wise, they’re not very impressive as people. They’re quite impressive as fighters though. Heck, one guy can shoot laser beams out of his eyes! They do the typical things from Asian action movies including gravity defying jumps and death defying sword fights. There is lots of back story provided, but having to have all those actiony super powers makes them stiff and stoic. There’s a romance in this movie, but it becomes ridiculous when the two show almost know emotion while having a deep loving conversation.

 

The monster design is pretty good and they do make formidable enemies (most of the time). They provide contrast to the fights at the beginning of the film with the hordes of men. Unfortunately none of these fights do anything to speed up the movie. By about an hour in I was going to give up because it wasn’t moving fast enough. Not that the story wasn’t interesting, it was just REALLY slow.

 

SO, in conclusion, the monsters are great, but we don’t see nearly enough of them, the characters are stale but interesting, and the plot is long and sometimes hard to follow. There are some obvious continuity flaws and some ridiculous fight sequences. This movie gets 2 “Oh, my God!”s out of 5. Oh yeah, when you defeat the bad guy, don’t think the movie’s over! You still have to fight the eight-headed dragon!

All images off of Google images

April 16th - N is for Night at the Museum

April 16th - N is for Night at the Museum

 

I just realized how direct this title is. Huh. Anyways, for a movie about something most kids would consider boring and dull, it did do a good job at trying to show kids that history can be fun too. I mention kids here especially, since this movie was very pointed to that crowd in my opinion. It is fun for older folks as well, but it’s as kid friendly as a bouncy castle; not everything’s exactly safe, but for the most part it’ll be fun.

 

I won’t deny that Ben Stiller is a great actor, and I do like most of his comedy, it’s just that when compared to some of the other characters, his character seems way to wacky. I know that any argument I make for this case can be put down as just part of the plot, that Stiller’s character is SUPPOSED the be out of place among all the exhibits, but I still think something’s off. Maybe it’s that some of the other characters play it a bit too straight or that their characters really believe in what they’re saying, but Stiller’s goofy, funny moments with them seem to just not quite fit. This could just be me though.

 

The story was okay, and this is another part that makes it more of a children’s type of movie. There doesn’t feel like enough is at stake in the conflict and the resolution comes too easy for me. Sure, there is some worry in if they’re going to actually be able to save the day, but I wish there was more. I know they had much more action in the conflict of the second movie, so I guess they learned from this.

 

SO, to conclude today: points gained from good acting, great costuming, and fun comedy; points lost for some stray character unevenness, not having enough at stake, and unsatisfying conclusion. Oh yeah! They also get props for the awesome dinosaur dog! 3 out of 5.

Night at the Museum cover from IMDB

Stars off of Google Images

 

April 15th - M is for The Mummy

April 15th - M is for The Mummy

 

I always manage to catch the end of this movie, but I think I’ve only seen it all the way through once or twice. I’ve always liked Egyptian mythology so I’ve always liked the idea behind this movie. I also admire the amount of extras that they have in some of the scenes. They make the world feel so open and expansive and that makes the scenes with the mummy much more suspenseful and so much more claustrophobic. Not that it’s always that way. This movie has comedy in with the suspense, but unfortunately, the jokes don’t always have the best timing. Just as I’m getting really into the action, someone will say something to try and lighten the story back up and it takes me out again. This isn’t all the time, but I thought I’d mention them. Though there’s comedy thrown in, the flow doesn’t really suffer too badly throughout most of the movie.

 

It’s good story wise too in my opinion. Some of the character development skips around a bit, but for the most part they’re pretty believable. Or at least as believable as main characters for a franchise can be. The characters have the common trait of not getting really dirty. If a character is trying to break a ceiling out above their head, by the end of the day they should be covered from head to toe in sand and dirt.

 

SO, to tally it up great story that was done to not only give the viewer the story, but the action and environment to make it feel all the more real. The creators put time and money into this and it shows. I had a really hard time trying to decide whether to give it 4 or 5 stars, but I think right now it feels like a 5 out of 5.

 

The Mummy cover from IMDB

Stars from Google Images

April 13th - L is for Labyrinth

April 13th - L is for Labyrinth

 

I was going to review The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, but then I saw this movie and knew that it was meant to be here this month. I want to be clean about one thing though: you do not watch this movie for what it is, you watch it for what it’s supposed to be. Only then you will find the appeal of this movie.

 

This movie is supposed to be about a young, smart girl learning that you don’t always get exactly what you wish for. What it comes across as is pure lunacy. Also, the girl is really bad at making good decisions. To put it in another way, the characters are crap except for what the viewer adds. It’s a child’s dream so the characters don’t make any sense AT ALL, and no one really gets back stories. This is a movie where it is never wrong to do your own voice overs.

 

The best part of this is that the puppeteering is amazing. There are huge scenes with hundreds of puppets of all shames and sizes, and this movie brings them all to life. Though we not get to know what kinds of goblins and monsters they are, they all seem to have their own personalities. They also did a great job at getting all the puppeteers to make the puppets sing at the right time.

 

SO, if nothing else, watch this movie for the ridiculousness, the trippyness, and the way David Bowie looks in those pants. This is a classic that everyone should see no matter their age, because everyone could always use a little more goofiness in their lives. 4 out of 5 (the movie isn’t super but watch it anyways!)

 

Labyrinth cover from IMDB

Stars from Google Images

April 12th - K is for King Kong (2005)

April 12th - K is for King Kong (2005)

 

I’ll be honest, I didn’t have time to watch all of this movie since it’s over 3 hours long, so every time I got bored, I skipped ahead a chapter on the DVD. It still took a really long time. I think that this movie has the same problem as House on Haunted Hill (my H review), in that they try to display all the emotions with long pauses. There are also a lot of pointless scenes where the camera just pans around, and while that gives you a great sense of where you are, it generally doesn’t help you get anywhere in the story. Story wise it’s really good. They did do a good job at fleshing out the story of King Kong and giving the characters realistic back stories. Not that I found any of them really likeable.

 

The CGI for Kong was good, but at any point that he’s interacting with any real world objects it comes out terrible. The real world object sticks out against the background with very obvious use of a green screen. The physic are also off with some of the other creatures like the dinosaurs. Oh, yeah, there are dinosaurs and other prehistoric creatures. That part of the story makes no sense. I don’t really think we need to spend almost an hour on a boat at sea only to then be forced to watch another hour on an island full of really, REALLY big bugs. If you don’t like bugs, I really can’t recommend this movie since there are quite a few halfway through the movie. It gets really disgusting and I had to skip past it because I couldn’t stand to watch.

 

Anyways, I won’t go through all of the things that where in this movie. Let’s just call it like this: Great story, but too many pauses, not all of which need to be there, almost good CGI, and unrealistic extras. Just because there’s a giant gorilla doesn’t mean that there should be dinosaurs whose physics, make them look like a pile of Jello. There are a whole lot of other things I found wrong here, but I don’t have the time or space to rant. 2 out of 5.

 

King Kong cover off of IMDB

Stars from Google Images

April 11th - J is for Jonah Hex

April 11th - J is for Jonah Hex

 

From Marvel to DC, I had forgotten that this movie was also based off of a comic book series. The problem with the movie is that it is a comic book movie. To know the background of the main character you have to have read the comic, because there is no introduction to this story. There is also a part in the beginning were it does cut into full on comic book scenes.

 

That doesn’t mean it’s a bad movie though. I for one love some of the writing for the characters. My favorites where Jonah’s dog and this dead guy named Jeb. Both characters had enough life to make them likeable and funny as well. As for Jonah himself, as he looks on the cover, he’s just too serious most of the time, and sometimes it works, but most times he just seems out of place. He’s rude to those that try to love him, and I just can’t bring myself to like him a lot.

 

In this movie there is also a world destroying weapon, in this case to destroy the United States. The problem with the conflict is that it’s not really explained very well. The progression of the plot isn’t very linear and doesn’t really come to a satisfying conclusion. Hex comes out the same he went in (well, mostly). There’s also a part where this prostitute named Lilah is not quite introduced, and then suddenly the movie is ending and she’s there with Hex and some how they know each other.

 

SO, pretty good fight and action scenes (very satisfying overall), monotone characters, and a non-cohesive plot. I’d like to see them try and do this again with the same actor and just make the movie about half an hour longer or so. 72 minutes just wasn’t long enough to try and get this story across. 3 out of 5 for effort.

Jonah Hex cover from IMDB
Stars off of Google Images

 

April 10th - I is for Iron Man

April 10th - I is for Iron Man



I saw the trailer for the new Iron Man movie, and decided it was time to go back and remind myself what the first one was like. It was a good move because I had forgotten how annoying Tony Stark was before his life turned upside down. That being said, I think the character does develop through the movie in an appropriate way. By the end he’s still annoying, but you can tell that the character has learned something from what they’ve gone through.

 

The story is cohesive and there are only a couple of things that don’t make sense, but nothing quite as blatant in G.I. Joe. I can’t decide if it’s one of my “best story in an action movie” nominees, but it does try really hard to be. The character progression is grounded in things that happen on screen and not just out of the blue. It got me into the movie when I could feel the change rather than having to just believe it was happening.

 

The effects are really nice, but then again, it’s Marvel. None of their stuff doesn’t try to look pretty. My favorite effect though is how the paint comes off the Iron Man suit when it gets damaged. It gives the scenes the extra weight of knowing that the suit can fail and break, and it give Iron Man the human quality of weakness even with such great power.

 

SO, in conclusion, great effects, interesting story, and most of all, true character development (even though it seems to devolve at the beginning of each movie). Plus the bad guys are REALLY dumb. I’d give it a 4 and a half out of five, but since I’m not doing halves, 4 out of 5.

Iron Man cover from IMDB

Stars from Google Images



April 9th - H is for The House on Haunted Hill

April 9th - H is for The House on Haunted Hill

 

Now I’m going to indulge my own favorite movies again, but this time it’s a lot older. Yes it’s the old, cheesy classic The House on Haunted Hill! I’ve watched the original movie by itself, but I’ve also watched it with the Rifftrax from Rifftrax.com. I’m just going to review the original movie, but the Rifftrax make this movie worthwhile by themselves.

 

I’ll say right off the bat that as an old movie, 1959, and it has all the old problems. The pacing is really slow, and there are a lot of scenes filled with people staring. Just staring. The effects are cheesy, but for the time I think they’re fine. There is over acting all over the place, but it’s the same with action scenes and explosions today. What I love about it the most is how straight the actors play their parts. Today, I watch it and I think it’s hilarious.

 

SO, for this approximately 75 minute film, it gives us a through story (mostly) which makes up for what it loses by just being old. 2 out of 5 on its own, 4 out of 5 with the Rifftrax, cause Vincent Price is still hilarious to me!

House on Haunted Hill cover from IMDB
Stars off of Google Images

P.S. Thank you so much to all those who've commented. It really does keep me focused on seeing this all of the way through!

 

April 8th - G is for G.I. Joe (The Rise of Cobra)

April 8th - G is for G.I. Joe (The Rise of Cobra)

 

Since the new one is coming out, I figured I’d take a look back at the first one (in this storyline) to get me on track for when I see the new one. I’m still not sure whether to look forward to it or not.

 

I have to wonder why NATO would fund a project that could easily destroy all of the civilized world. I even checked up on it, and they still wouldn’t have funded something like this. Even though it would never happen, it makes for a good easy conflict. The movie takes place in the very near future, but somehow the bad guys have managed to harness gravity in the form of guns which are so overpowered that the “best” fighters in the world, the G.I Joes, are continually blown away by. This raises the question of whether there needs to nanomites at all.

 

All of that comes from within the first ten minutes of the movie. It shows one of my favorite points about this movie: how densely pack in the story in a action oriented film. It’s pretty good, but that’s not to say that you would turn to this movie if you wanted a story. It has enough story to make the action reasonable, but not enough to give us the full details of the world (i.e. the gravity guns). I think that since there will be a sequel, this movie did a good job at setting up the characters so that they don’t have to completely reintroduce us again.

 

SO, in the end, I felt it did very, very good in the action sequences, pretty good in the storytelling, but does lack some details I’m just itching to understand. The greatest fighters in the world shouldn’t have to be the underdogs. 4 out of 5.

G.I. Joe cover from IMDB
Stars from Google Images

 

April 6th - F is for The Fifth Element

April 6th - F is for The Fifth Element

 

I think The Fifth Element was my first real Sci-fi movie. Of course, back then I never got to see the very end for some very obvious reasons. It was my first choice as soon as I got to picking out my F movie, one because it’s funny and serious at the same time, and two because I haven’t gotten the chance to watch it all the way through in a while.

 

My favorite part of this movie has to be the opera song by Diva Plavalaguna. I don’t think it’s not giving away much to say that it is probably the best scene in the movie in terms of action in combination with music, and the best in any movie I’ve ever seen.

 

Though I really love this movie, there are a few things that are a little bit, well, not done very well. For instance (again trying not to ruin the movie) when the main bad guy is talking to his boss (another part I don’t get) there is a point at which it looks as if he has chocolate syrup running down from his temple instead of what I think should be blood. It took me a couple times through before I understood that his head was supposed to be bleeding, but I guess that’s just me.

 

SO, in conclusion, a good, general starting point if you’ve never watched a Science Fiction movie before. There are a couple spots that don’t feel quite right, but overall, I think this is 5 out of 5!

The Fifth Element cover from IMDB
Stars from Google Images

 

April 5th - E is for Escape from New York

April 5th - E is for Escape from New York

 

I was going to watch Eragon, but five minutes in I found out that my disk had a giant scratch on it, so here we go on another movie I’ve never seen! I’ve seen Escape from Las Angeles, so I knew a little about what was going to happen but not much. The creators of this movie must have been proud of it, because the first three minutes are spent slowly listing their names. This film was done in 1981, but I have to say, it looks really good for an older movie.

 

Our main character Snake Plissken is a true bad ass of the highest order but doesn’t always show it. In the actual beginning of the action (twenty minutes in), Bob Hauk ,the leader of the people who sent our main character in, sounds like a school teacher, Plissken is a grade schooler, and man are those some big ass needles! I think it’s just me, but there’s a lot of space between the actual motion in the plot. That space doesn’t put me off too bad though, because they used it to give the film atmosphere. Story wise, well, there isn’t much of a detailed one here. There are lots of plot holes that aren’t filled such as how everyone keeps say how Plissken should be dead, but no one ever tells us why.

 

SO, over all, good execution, but the premise needed more. I think I’ll watch it again with the commentary and see if that helps. From what I watched I’ll give it a 4 out of 5.

Escape from New York cover from IMDB
Stars from Google Images

P.S. - My post for F will be up late on Saturday since I'll be traveling that day.

April 4th - D is for Dragon Wars

April 4th - D is for Dragon Wars

 

Ha-Ha! Bet no one was expecting this one! That’s right, I’m trying to get the dragon related movies out of the way this week, so here we have the very, VERY, cheesy film: Dragon Wars! Or just D-War as the DVD subtitle suggests hopefully.

 

I’d like to point out, and I don’t feel like I’m spoiling anything because you can see it on the cover, the “dragons” in this movie are actually just giant snakes. There are snake-like dragons in many mythologies, but the ones in this movie are just gigantic cobras. No wings, no fire, just a big hood, 4 long fangs (there are some smaller teeth), and an affinity for constricting buildings. While there are other dragons in the film, they aren’t really what most would think of when you say the word “dragon”. They have giant lizards with canons on their backs. In ancient Korea.

 

Getting past that, the story is very lackluster and has so many holes that sucked me right out of the story and into the void of ridiculous ideas. The premise is simple, ancient group of ninja warriors, sacrifice, betrayal, jumps forward and backward in time, yada yada yada. I think the movie was based on an old Korean legend, but that doesn’t really make it okay to make an action movie with no plot except “run away, run away, run away!” until the last few scenes! The ending itself was grand and wonderful, but the rest of the movie didn’t hold up its end of the film.

 

SO, in conclusion, good basis, bad execution. I wish someone could go back and make this story a little more coherent and maybe a little more connected. Also, they need to make the big bad dragon look different from the all powerful good one. Make your bad guys discernible from you’re good guys please. 2 out of 5.

Dragon Wars cover from IMDB
Stars from Google Images

 

April 3rd - C is for Casino Royale

April 3rd - C is for Casino Royale

Fast cars and super agents, it’s time for a James Bond film! I chose this one just so I could listen to the theme song, well, among other things. I haven’t watched it since it first came out on DVD, so it was like I was watching it for the first time. I like that this movie doesn’t waste time giving the viewer what they came for, and starts use off with some very satisfying action (at least for me). I like how they weren’t afraid to show Bond taking some serious damage for all the hits he gets in.

 

I don’t know much about poker, and I don’t really like gambling, but Daniel Craig and Mads Mikkelsen do an excellent job at show how vital this game is. This by no means makes it very interesting to watch a poker game for half of the film, but I think it’s still bearable. What happened after that though, well, lets just say that I was definitely cringe worthy. The thing is though, I almost feel as if the movie should stop there.

Sadly the perfect ending here is not suitable for a James Bond movie, so we must move on and not let happiness get in the way. It was satisfying, but it brought in a new conflict with only twenty minutes left in the movie, which isn’t recommended for written stories, so shouldn’t be done for films. It does set up who Bond will become in later films, but really came out of the blue.

 

SO, in conclusion, 10,000 points for one of the best theme songs in history, -10,000 points for slowing down everything in between the first end and the actual ending. The total comes to 4 out of 5 stars.

Casino Royale cover from IMDB

Stars from Google Images



April 2nd - B is for Beowulf

April 2nd - B is for Beowulf (Director’s Cut)

I’ll say right off that it’s very bloody. I could only get a hold of the Director’s Cut, so that really didn't help. I understand that the original story wasn't anything for children, but this version doesn't leave much to the imagination. Well, except for the great series of camera angles which never fail to hide most of the nudity. I don’t know the original story well enough to say if they did it correctly or not, but to a first time viewer, it seemed to complete its story. 

The visuals are pretty good for most of the movie, and at the best of times are incredibly realistic, and at the worst times it makes it look as if the people are chimpanzees. The horse animation is especially atrocious. The inconsistency of the picture did throw me off a little bit, but it did a good job for the story it was trying to tell.

SO, in conclusion, an interesting film with enough gore to give it some realism, and enough fantasy to make up for where it’s not. Except for those horses. 3 out of 5 stars!

Beowulf picture from IMDB

Star picture from Google Images